A little Light Entertainment


A Poem Inspired by Gilbert and Sullivan

I am the very model of a modern Yoga therapist,
A Yoga Sutra Mantra chanting Urban Liberationist,
An Osho shaking meditating integrated activist,
I wander through the forests smoking Shiva pipes with cannabis..

I love to self deny I’ve done the Raw Juice and the Master Cleanse,
Kriya Kapalabhati all to purge myself of toxic yens,
In day to day activities I smile like a beatifist,
I am the very model of a modern Yoga therapist

I disapprove of Bikram studios as they are too commercialist,
I shake my head in sorrow at the antics of the sweat fascists,
In all my public practices I emphasise the lyrical,
Of total body mind awareness and my methods are empirical

My Uddiyana Bandha really is a sight to see,
It fills me up with upward flying Kundalini energy,
Ujjayi Breathing like Darth Vader in a really hardcore porn orgy,
Oh if I still had an ego I would fear for the death of me..

In Mysore Vegan cafes I can name drop with the best of them,
In all deep values’ Tantric’ I am frantic to be down with them,
I’ll divine your mystic future using palmistry and Osho Zen,
Whilst siphoning the ojas off impressionable younger men…

I am the very model of a modern Yoga therapist
My aura glows with righteousness and spirulina synergists
I’ve learned more than I can say from my colonic irrigationist
I am the very model of a modern Yoga therapist…

By Victoria Nauen

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